The Mystical Kreetardia

Adventures in Craftland + Boob Woes

2012-02-27T15:35:00.001-05:00

So I finally got to start using up my Jo-Ann Fabrics giftcard and I decided that a circle skirt in a piratey/referee-y/Beetlejuicey type o' fabric and a simple, short petticoat with a bit of a bustle (because I should totally add more volume to my ass, right?) be a pretty fun project.

Well, uh, moderately less so when you're a cut, pleat, and halfway sew first then maybe eventually measure kind of gal. I definitely have enough fabric to make this work but I'm a wee bit worried about how high the hem (and thus how damn short overall) will be.

But I'll keep on plugging away. Pictures of either greatness or catastrophe will be posted when the gods of costumery decide my fate.

And after having some concerns about my nipple healingz, I decided that they were healed enough to switch rings. I was half right. They were definitely healed enough to change out but what I didn't take into account was that the fleshy networks of my titty tissue had healed in a curved shape so after I put the straight bars in they kinda had to push through some of the excess tissue (like piercing migration but not? I don't know what the medical word for it would be), which resulted in much tenderness. The soreness has since drastically decreased and I'm almost 100% healed.

On a related note, my lobes are now stretched to 1/2 inch. I keep telling myself I'll stop stretching them at random points only to go up in size later. Most recently I said I'll stop stretching them when someone could get a blow job through my ear holes. I mean, I know dicks are quite varied and that someone out there could have superultra-micro-peen and could most likely do that now but I'm thinking an inch in diameter might be my absolute max. I'm also thinking of gauging my septum up to a 12g so I could by jewelry for either tits or nose. And goddamn it, I need a new tattoo...too.

Kevin's job is pretty great. After only a few weeks of working there, he's getting promoted to key holder and he used to wonderful booze discount to get my a bottle Godiva chocolate liquer for Valentines Day. It's like liquid boners.

Speaking of, I think I'll go partake in a cup of that sweet cocoa love juice (Ha, I should write copy for interracial porn) and stare at the fabric piles in comtempt.

Thumb punch the butthole, y'all.

Note to Self

2012-02-03T17:22:00.000-05:00

Pop Magic! by Grant Morrison

One day Summer will return

2012-01-30T06:46:00.001-05:00

One day Summer will return by kreetard featuring plastic sunglasses

EKYOG jersey t shirt
€28 - placedestendances.com

Balmain leather shorts
$908 - stylebop.com

La Perla lace bra
£78 - theoutnet.com

Peacock feather tight
$24 - topshop.com

Fahrenheit black shoes
$26 - makemechic.com

Alexander mcqueen ring
£150 - harveynichols.com

Plastic sunglasses
$9.99 - tillys.com

NARS Night Collection Eyeshadow - Night Breed
$23 - barneys.com

Bourjois Little Round Pot Intense Eyeshadow
$13 - asos.com

Durable Latigo Leather Studded Dog Collar
$11 - hotdogcollars.com

Mahalo U-30BK Painted Economy Soprano Ukulele, Black: Musical...
$22 - amazon.com

Areng Flower Carved Tunnels
$20 - plugyourholes.com

Buy CoverGirl Blast Flipstick Lipstick, Stunner Online at...
$7.99 - drugstore.com

Happy Tears Volume One

2012-01-30T02:39:00.000-05:00

(I'll try to keep semi-regular with this new micro-playlist, maybe about 4-5 a year.)

Happy Tears is a good playlist for your sweet, tender lady moments when the world is so very wide and beautiful that you wish you had enough arm to hug everything, for when your warm and beloved little pet curls up on your cold toes, and for when you just want to wear a very pretty dress and cry because everything is just so darn nice. So without further ado, here are some Happy Tears for you!

(If you pretend that after my introduction, I curtsied and made a sweeping gesture towards a Lawrence Welk-esque stage, I guarantee the listening will be thrice as enjoyable.)

1. Nellie McKay - If I Had You

2. Nick Cave - To Be By Your Side

3. Rasputina's cover of Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

4. Daniel Johnston - Story of an Artist

Okay, this one is pretty damn sad but still quite enchanting.

5. George Harrison - Let It Be Me

I couldn't get through Lolita

2012-01-29T07:38:00.001-05:00

I couldn't get through Lolita by kreetard featuring knit knee high socks

Don t Ask Amanda lace top
$70 - generalpants.com.au

Hollister Co vintage skirt
$15 - hollisterco.com

Knit knee high socks
$8.50 - nordstrom.com

Olympia Le Tan clutch hand bag
£955 - net-a-porter.com

Tarina tarantino jewelry
$38 - tarinatarantino.com

Summer sunglasses
£10 - urbanexcess.com

MAC Viva Glam Lipstick Viva Glam I V One Size
$15 - nordstrom.com

Fresh Sugar Lychee Eau de Parfum To Go 1 oz Eau de Parfum Spray
$38 - sephora.com

butter LONDON 3 Free Lacquer Pink Ribbon - eleven.se
eleven.se

Amazon.com: 12 Inch Sacred Heart Of Jesus Holy Figurine Religious...
$28 - amazon.com

6 Oz. Round Whirly Rainbow Lollipop - Sweet Factory
$3.99 - sweetfactory.com

I feel shitty. Part I

2012-01-29T05:59:00.001-05:00

But that's good.

It's an odd mind set that, when I first had it, led to a pretty damn creative time in my life.
It's a very teenage mindset, lonely, psyched, pissy, fat, sore, fabulous, giving no fucks, chain smoking and then jogging and almost puking and planning parties for awkward time/places. I dressed the best in this era, was the fittest I ever was, was in a Misfits cover band and did tolerably well in school. I miss it in a way, but not entirely. Those were some damn lonely times. I had already been through my cutting phase at this point (more for adrenaline than suicidey reasons) but still had some pretty deep feelings of detachment from my friends and I honestly don't think a lot of them knew how I was actually feeling.
About when I was 16/17, I had an approximate timeline for myself that ended 5 years from when I made it, which would be some time this year, and it ended with me committing suicide. I didn't have a method picked out but I knew I didn't want a gory, depressing, dramatic end. I didn't even necessarily want to die per se.

I just wanted to quit being.

I'm not even sure I can quantify or phrase what I mean by that bit I just felt wholly irrelevant, like I was just taking up space in the lives of those I love. I had thoughts about finding some way to erase myself and undo my life thus far. I had (to be honest, sometimes still do) fantasies of just pulling an Enid from Ghost World and leaving but I knew that would break my dad's heart and he would just blame himself.

I guess, to a degree, I got that wish when I went out with my first serious boyfriend (met him online, word to the wise; plentyoffish is awful) and I moved to St. Albans, WV to live with him. It was dumb. I had barely passed high school and then almost immediately moved away from my friends. That's one of the few things I really kick myself in the ass about. I absolutely did not love him, we were not at all compatible. He didn't have my best interests in mind. He was artless, unhealthy as fuck, closed-minded, petty, juvenile, kind of mean, unrealistic, and tremendously fucking huge. Bleh, I'm getting off topic now.

BUT. While I was with him, my paternal grandmother got pretty sick and my dad had her stay at a care facility in Morgantown so he could keep track of her condition and regularly visit her. I made sure to visit her a few times but I didn't do it as much as I should have. Eventually, she didn't make much of an improvement and died not too long after. She was such a radically awesome human. Tough as fuck, loved to gab and tell jokes and gossip, she always dressed really well and took pride in her appearance, drank tons of Pepsi and smoked pretty heavily up until she had to be put on oxygen. As I went pretty heavily into the shitty mall goth thing, she kindly never brought it up. As I refined my spooky and kinda learned how to dress myself properly, she was definitely more receptive. A few years down the line she told me how much she loved NCIS and "especially Abby". I'm pretty sure that was her way of telling me that she 'got it' and approved.

My favorite Grandma story is from when she used to work in a call center, kind of like a 911 dispatcher but it was for a different organization, and there was someone at the center that was stealing tampons. Not a huge issue but if the person had simply asked it would've just been more polite. So, in order to find out who was stealing them she bought a box, soaked them in hot pepper juice, repackaged them and left them in her area at work. I'm told there was never an issue with tampon thievery after that.

Again, I just got myself super off track, but I'll pick this up in a later post when my eyes aren't so teared up.

It's Sunday Forever

2012-01-26T07:29:00.001-05:00

It's Sunday Forever by kreetard featuring black tops

Elizabeth and James black top
$203 - my-wardrobe.com

Alexander mcqueen
$1,113 - theoutnet.com

Floral tight
$7.99 - tillys.com

Jeffrey Campbell high heel boots
$200 - solestruck.com

Givenchy cross jewelry
$1,105 - barneys.com

Silver jewelry
85 SEK - ginatricot.com

Wrap bracelet
$20 - modcloth.com

ASOS drop hoop earrings
£10 - asos.com

Miss Selfridge stone ring
£7.50 - missselfridge.com

Oversized ring
romwe.com

Yves Saint Laurent chain belt
atelier-mayer.com

Nars 'Volga' Pure Matte Lipstick
£19 - liberty.co.uk

Nars Eyeliner Stylo In Nuits Blanches
£19 - liberty.co.uk

Nail Polish - Tea Bird - Nail polish - Make up - Beauty -
debenhams.com

Wedgwood 1930 Polka Rose Three Piece Tea Set
£40 - liberty.co.uk

Am I seriously reviewing a minute long pr0n clip?

2012-01-24T21:48:00.000-05:00

Apparently so.

The clip in question is one I found while puttering around the NSFW section of Reddit; it's a pretty gnarly subspace-ish scene taken the movie Kristina Rose Is Slutwoman. Go ahead and take a moment to watch it. Oh, and you're gonna need headphones.

[This link takes you to a tumblr page containing said clip.]

This is an ever so slightly painful video to watch, very raw. The passion in it is absolutely genuine and touching. They are indeed porn stars so I don't think it's an actual (or maybe just not intentional) D/s relationship. Thus, I feel as if a lot of the positive, glowing musings on this video that I've read in the tumblr notes are somewhat romanticized but I can't disagree with them.

As stated by 'skronker' on the Adult DVD Talk forum;

"I watched Kristina's scene today and I am speechless. I don't even think it's porn ... but it is the most naked revelation of passion I may ever have seen in an adult video. Just beautiful."

While I was trying to learn about the actors, I found out that they, Manuel Ferrara and Kristina Rose, have (at least to a small audience) a very special chemistry on screen. I think I'm actually going to look around for some skin flicks they're in together.

Kristina Rose herself chimes in on that forum and said:

"It's the best sexual experience I've ever had and I don't think I'll ever have another one like it.
That was a very special day for me and it still is."

Manuel Ferrara reminds me of Miloš from A Serbian Film (which is a borderline creepy thought) in that he seems to be able to fuck with such intensity as to make one feel like the lowliest mongrel but he knows when and how to stop and ground you and take you back towards reality. Truly, Manuel is an artist. (And pretty, he reeeeal pretty.)

And French. He is French as fuck. Literally.

While reading the notes and browsing the forum, I thought about the beauty of control. Aside from the blatant sex appeal and under the occasionally intimidating veneer of BDSM, it's inherently about trust. Sweet, tender trust. Of course this is a big ol' DUH to more experienced players but as a newcomer to the more serious side of things, I'm still figuring out what I like and why I like it.
I can be sexy (who knew?) and tease and all that and I can definitely leave my fellow twitching, moaning and writhing in a soupy bliss puddle but I have yet to really push his boundaries. The concept of (bear with me, my jibber jabber is about to get even weirder and more metaphorical) breaking a lover down into such based components and having the privilege of being the person to pick hem up and stitch them back together is an immensely blissful one.
It's not the pain, or the general sensations involved, it's you working yourself into their mind and nudging and pushing and stretching it as far as you can. It's another form of mind expansion. Again, a huge DUH to some but I think phrasing it in my own way just organizes a lot of thoughts for me.

Or maybe I'm just having a fake-weed flashback.

-shrug-

When I grow up/I will never grow up.

2012-01-24T17:36:00.001-05:00

When I grow up/I will never grow up. by kreetard featuring puffy skirts

MUGLER 80s fashion
€1.378 - download.colette.fr

Vivienne Westwood Red Label puffy skirt
$320 - theoutnet.com

Nicole Miller black tight
$39 - bluefly.com

Blonde blonde
£20 - bankfashion.co.uk

Jeffrey Campbell black boots
$195 - jildorshoes.com

Vivienne Westwood vintage crocodile handbag
$375 - viviennewestwood.co.uk

Repossi antique snake ring
$17,510 - barneys.com

Ileana Makri 18k jewelry
$2,465 - barneys.com

NARS Nail Polish-Aluminum
$17 - neimanmarcus.com

M·A·C Cosmetics | Lipstick (Iris Apfel, Pink Pigeon)
$15 - maccosmetics.com

NARS Trio Eye Shadow
$45 - neimanmarcus.com

Wilkommen auf Kreetardia

2012-01-23T14:11:00.001-05:00

Wilkommen auf Kreetardia by kreetard featuring sequin bras

Marchesa v neck dress
$1,063 - boutique1.com

Pants
$80 - generalpants.com.au

Forever 21
$3.80 - forever21.com

Elle Macpherson Intimates sequin bra
$33 - journelle.com

Bracelet
£19 - attitudeclothing.co.uk

Libertie is my Religion bracelet
€45 - placedestendances.com

Ileana Makri 18k ring
$10,350 - net-a-porter.com

Black sunglasses
retrocitysunglasses.com

River Island Gothic Rosary Necklace
$13 - asos.com

M·A·C Liquid Eye Liner
$18 - bloomingdales.com

Manic Panic - Deadly Night Kiss Lipstick - Make-up
£9.99 - attitudeclothing.co.uk

Essie Nail Polish – Blues
$8 - nordstrom.com

Jeffrey Campbell: Nightwalk Wine Metallic- Eilatan.com
$170 - eilatan.com

I have never been thin in my life.

2012-01-22T09:35:00.000-05:00

This needs to fucking change.

No jelly here, just great jams, Volume One.

2012-01-05T09:54:00.000-05:00

This list has no order or theme. It's just 10 good songs to ponder for the month. I'll try to do this monthly but I imagine I'll forget I even posted this in a week or two. Oh yeah, that's my main New Year's Resoultion; writing more. The stuff I write might be mostly gibberish or the more interesting version of my life's events, who knows. But I gotta do it MOAR. So I will.... Mmmyep.

10. Danny Brown - XXX

I've been reading a lot about this guy and he is definitely one weirdly cool dude. I downloaded his new album 'XXX' and fell in love with the title track. I feel like even without references to his hometown, you can still hear the Detroit in his music. Detroit is a weird place; hostile and creative which makes for great artist jerk-off fodder. But yeah, shit's good.

9. Fucked Up - Remember My Name

Now that I've heard of these dudes, I feel stupid for not knowing about them sooner. Hardcore Canadian Experimental Punk goodness. Good Christ, Fucked Up is rad. Fucking solid guitar work and beats and the lovely snarls of 'Pink Eyes' make up the band's recent concept album, David Comes to Life. The album is an 18 track rock epic made of 4 acts that tells the love story between (the fictional) David and Veronica. Not that I could exactly follow the story, heh.

8. VCR - Bratcore

Note: the end of the vidya features secret agent man as sung by cats and dogs.

With a fucking righteous punk band coming to Morgantown in February, I've been kinda brushing up on my favorite punk bands in general. This was the first track I had heard from VCR and it reminds me of an early 90's/late 80's supernatural horror flick that probably features a lot neon green slime. I did not intentionally just describe Ghostbusters but I guess it kinda fits in my mind. And I'm a sucker for anything with synthesizers.

7. The Queers - You Make Me Wanna Puke

And who is this legendary band coming to Morgantown you might be wondering? The goddamn Queers, that's who. Admittedly, I'm not as knowledgeable about their discography as I'd like to be. Their sound is very reminiscent of the Ramones and other songs of theirs have an almost surf-esque quality. I am so fuh-hucking excited to see them live.

6. Nancy Vandal - Prom Date with No Eyes

I prefer the Nancy Vandal tracks that feature Gilli Pepper and this is certainly one of the stand outs in that category. This song is funny, catchy, raucous and pure good times. I don't remember what the shit I was looking up on Youtube that first turned me on to this band. Not sure I want to. Anyhooz, Nancy Vandal's album 'I've Wasted My Life' is goshdarn superb and surprisingly hard to find a torrent for. Guess ol' Kree is gonna have to obtain this one the old fashioned legal way.

5. Fleetwood Mac - Tusk

I love Fleetwood Mac so much. I use their song 'Rhiannon' to explain to people how to pronounce my name and if I'm in a bar long enough and they have a jukebox, odds are that I will play it or at least search for it. This song, Tusk, in particular got me through a shitty breakup (kind of a breakup? I'll elaborate later.). I've recently-ish rediscovered this song and now I have a whole new balls-out love for it. I do prefer this version to the more whispered version, but I appreciate the merits of each.

4. Bjork - Isobel

Post is one of my favorite albums but I never seem to recall that until I'm listening to it again. I used to listen to it as I was falling asleep and usually, Isobel would be the track where I finally nodded off. I dunno about you, but I'm pretty susceptible to outside stimuli fiddling with my brain signals and weaseling their way into my dreams and this song was certainly no exception. This track inspired dream visuals not unlike the those in the video for the song. Comforting, spooky, whimsical, and a tiny bit unsettling.

3. Why? - The Vowels, Part 2

I think I've had a Why? vidya (maybe a lyric?) embedded in this here blog before. Again, it reminds me of a very specific time in my life. I had just broken up with a shitty dude, moved out of the apartment we split, had to get rid of my dog, and was quickly running out of inheritance money. Then I moved in with one of my best friends, Jeff, who got me a job, played in a street band, hung out with one of my goddamn idols, made some amazing internet friends that convinced me to make a fetlife page (which led me to meeting Kevin), and just had a fucking nice time not being dependent on much besides myself. It was a really nice time. All of the songs from this album remind me of that very nice time.

2. Andy the Doorbum - Headrush in Centralia

This is an amazing human. He is incredibly humble and sweet and intelligent and his work certainly shows that. And while I was puttering around Wikipedia this morning, I got to learn about Centralia. Pretty fascinating stuff, if I may say so. Andy picks up weird little anecdotes, jokes, and stories like that and fills in the bare bones of them with sweet turns of phrase and a genuine passion that one doesn't often witness. I honestly can't speak highly enough of him. Seeing him live is a nigh religious experience.

1. Journey - Wheel in the Sky

Shut up, it's great. No arguing.

Habloof

2012-01-05T07:39:00.000-05:00

This is good jams. Makes me want to re-attempt a band.

I'm so very excited for the play party! Fingers crossed that the few people that have casually mentioned that they were unsure actually decide to attend.

I got my grown up ID so I can go to all the fancy bars now, yay! I got a shit ton of very fantastic stuff for Christmas and had a humble New Years hangout with my parents and Kevin. Since then, I've just been hanging out in Morgantown not doing much. I have jury duty coming up so I'm essentially on call for 6 weeks starting the 8th. And while I'm really into the concept of being involved with the American justice process and all that blahblah, I would also love it if they took one look at me and told me I was free to go. I could use the $40 a day but I don't exactly want to deal with the hassle of having to catch a ride every day I'm called in and then have to deal with either backwards jackasses or utterly apathetic people with no idea of the life they could be making/breaking with the jury's decision. Blah blah blah.

Also, fuck holiday food. I can feel exactly where I gained holiday weight and it is nigh infuriating. Now I'm all bloaty and I've been getting some acid-y feelings in the back of my throat. I need to go legitimately vegan again. I'm pretty sure my self-diagnosed PCOS was being treated/controlled pretty well when I ate zero dairy and walked everywhere. The first time I went vegan it was for a bet. The bet was with my turbo-bestie and she insisted that there was no way I could go vegan for 40 days. Not only did I beat her (she stills owes me a tattoo of my face on her butt); I managed to keep vegan for over a year. After that, I lapsed to vegetarianism (partially due to my ultra shitty partner at the time) and I've gone without eating meat for about 3-4 years now.

Maybe I just need someone to dare me into working out. I've heard different sources say that once you get into the habit of exercising, it's not so bad but I'm actually pretty bad at forming habits. Yeah, sure, I smoke but I can go pretty long without genuinely wanting a cigarette. (Wanting a cigarette and wanting something to occupy my mouth/hand are two very different things.)

But yeah. Kevin comes back up Saturday so we can do the Munch and then the Rocky Horror Porno Show at Donna and Cory's place (which is so rad! Cory has a goddamn vacuform machine!), then the play party not too long after that. I miss him. It has only been a few days apart but I feel like we're perfect supplements for each other, very much a synergistic love. So when he's not around it's like being only half here. Not that I was all there to begin with.

Hi ho.

How I Learned to Hate Women

2011-12-16T04:46:00.000-05:00

Word of warning, this is just some moderately old frustration that I felt the need to officially declare just to get it off of my chest. It is stupid, slightly petty, and you should feel free to ignore it.

A roller derby league should have more than one team.
A team meeting should include the whole team. Someone outside on a smoke break should be told when the meeting is re-convening.
Donna drew a way better logo and we had way better colors picked out and we did the major membership push that got a couple of your star players and your assistant coach interested.
I don't understand why your partners tolerate your shittiness as people.
Fuck you and your shitty, dumb decisions.
You are not the 'first and only' flat track league in West Virginia. Morgantown, perhaps, but the Southern WV teams have been around longer than you.
It is my considered opinion that the majority of your team is made up of grumpy middle aged women trying to hold onto some shred of rebelliousness and charisma that may or may not have existed in your youth.
I thoroughly believe that if you had bothered to listen to us and our ideas, you would absolutely be a better, or at least better known, league.
I'm typically a fan of gossip, but you secretive, exclusionary, back-biting dicks made me feel like I was entirely unwelcome.
And your team name is stupid.

That concludes this test of the whining broadcast system.

Decembored

2011-12-10T21:07:00.001-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfbCqbt3Xy4

For whatever reason, the right channel of almost every speaker or set of headphones I own wants to blow out within a month of purchase.
Maybe my the odd assymetry of my body means I naturally carry more of my natural electric charge on that side?
Hmm, I'm pretty sure I'm just making up Kree science.

I'm very, very happy my dad didn't have to be hospitalized but the old kook ain't 100% just yet. But all improvements are good.

I have been in a really good and productive mood today. In the process of sketching out a pattern for the Ghost World catwoman/batman mask, I got really into these doodles I was doing of various girlcreatures wearing the batman masks. So then I started a painting of a few of them. It's about a third done at best and the upper-left lady still needs a name, but it kinda makes me giggle when I look at it. It's like a punchlineless inside joke with myself.

Ho hum. Wanna name the lady? I'm open to suggestions. :D

Its a Wonderful Life.

2011-12-10T21:04:00.001-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4lcUIjDgFU
(one day, I'll figure out iphone vidya embedding.)

December is becoming quite a travel challenge. We have Clarksburg family Christmas, Morgantown family and friends christmas, the possibility of Michigan family christmas (I HATE Michigan winters.) and New Years/Jeff's birthday/Donna and Cory's anniversary. Plus this year I went and had to try to throw a porn party in there too. (At least I'm making my own stress instead of getting it from outside sources. Silver linings.) So, on top of figuring out what to get for who and where to get it cheapest, I gotta sort all that out.

I think the tentative plan is to do the porn party and last minute shopping next week, come back after that to wrap and prepare everything then later Christmas eve and maybe day in Clarksburg, then head back up to Morgantown to spend time with my folks and our friends then hang around for Jeff/New Years (assumably, Donna and Cory are gonna be too busy with the shtuppage to join that shindig) and then do Little Vegas Post-Christmas Christmas with Donna, Cory, Olivia, Frum, maybe Jeff, and maybe Katy.

Donna and I came up with the idea to make little stockings for the strippers. I wanna put condoms, lube samples, mini hand sanitizers and body lotion in 'em. Do you think they would be offended by that? I wanna give the nice ladies practical and slightly cute/funny gifts but I'm not sure what (if any?) etiquette is involved there. I mean, I'm sure money is a great (and probably preferred) gift but I'd like to think my idea comes from a thoughtful place and that they'll appreciate it. Only real problem is that I have no idea how many to make and don't want to accidentally exclude someone.

Hrmm.

The only gift schemes I still need to figure out are my parents and Kevin.
I've got my mom about 1/2 way figured out, same for my dad (just need to check out his dvd shelf), but I'm kinda drawing a blank for Kevin. He's trying to play the "don't get me anything" card but I ain't having that shit. I assume his family is going the Thundercat toys route, I know what my parents are getting him, but I haven't been able to come up with much. I've considered Thundercats/Venom themed stuff from etsy but most of it is kind of shitty. The best I've come up with would be to get his absolute favorite Living Dead Doll. It's a slightly rare UK only release that is usually never less than $150 on eBay. So, not so very feasible.
That's the goddamn trouble with trying to buy for a nerdy toy collector. They either have it, have a very srs bizness reason they don't want it ("no, that came out right after they switched manufacturers and i don't like the plastic they used and the way they painted their belts derpderpderp"), or it's massively fucking expensive.

But, to be fair, I'm incredibly hard to shop for clothing and shoe-wise. That fact is probably some form of ironic (I think I look like a spooky hobo most of the time) but I'm exceptionally picky about what I wear so I suppose I can't really rag on Kevin for being tough to shop for when I'm just as finicky in my own areas of obsession.

Besides, it's really cute when he nerds out and gibbers about toys and toy history in WalMart.

Sidenote: A ten year old almost punched me when I said I hated this wrestler guy while we were in Target last week. Luckily, I think the kids ADD kicked in and he forgot what was happening pretty quickly.

Side-sidenote: We went to Kmart after that and a woman with a baby, a teen, and two younger kids in tow came up the aisle we were in and either laid down a massive, simultaneous silent fartbomb or none of them seemed to realize that baby needed changing somethin' fierce.

Side-side-sidenote: Babies are weird and I don't trust 'em.

Finally, an instrument designed with me in mind!

2011-12-05T23:54:00.001-05:00

Saw this at a store called Deals today.

2011-12-05T09:11:00.001-05:00

Huh. Looks like one of the pidgeons lost their change.

Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best.

2011-12-03T15:36:00.001-05:00

My dad is taking antibiotics for full blown pneumonia (both lungs, all aspects), an outer ear infection and a Eustachian tube infection. El Doctor says if there's not a drastic improvement by Tuesday, he'll be admitted to the hospital for IV antibiotics. I know his track record for trusting doctors and I'm just really worried about that stubborn ol' codger.

Well, I had a weird dream last night where I was at a MKF munch at Eat'n'Park and my mom and her brothers came in and told me that my dad had died and it scared the fuck out of me. And in the dream, I had just PACKED my mouth full of food and as they told me I started clawing the food out of my mouth to ask them if they were serious, how it happened, etc. but I couldn't get it all out and I was so panicky and frustrated that I guess I forced myself to wake up.

I'm pretty sure I was chewing on my cheek.

But then I started thinking about my best friend and her recent biopsy to check for cervical cancer and I thought to myself; "What will I do if I lose my dad and my best friend?"

Needless to say I started crying and shaking, enough to wake Kevin up. So he calmed me down, grabbed me a tissue and I felt a bit better.

And then I wrote a rap song about the apocalypse in the vein of OFWGKTA.

Tha Endz.

If only it could have been on COPS.

2011-11-30T20:32:00.002-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPBddVIUrU4

Sorry, posting from an iPhone so it ain't embedded all proper like.

BUT, the same cuntish human that passed out business cards claiming himself a "professional guotar player" (at a housewarming party I'm not 100% sure he was even invited to) posted a facebook status "fat girls with pretty faces make me mad", and creepily haunts the tattoo shop my bestie's beau works has been arrested for third degree sexual assault. With a minor, no less.

My fingers are getting numb from being outside in the land arctic temperatures and free wi-fi or I would elaborate/do an interpretive dance on my feelings surrounding news.

(well, pretty much rape = bad, shitheads gettin' some public-ass karma = hi-larious.)

The Official Things Kree Needs to Make List

2011-11-24T18:48:00.002-05:00

- beaded bra that I saw on etsy for $400 that I could make for $30, tops.

- artsy silicone insertables

- dragon's tail

- pasties pasties PASTIES!

- floggers of various design

- lightly tooled leather (maybe veg. leather, pending cost) pentagram harness

- stuffed creatures

- Platform sneakers!

- Heelless Shoes!

I wish I had an antebellum Southern accent.

2011-11-21T16:12:00.001-05:00

Now watching: The Rock-afire Explosion

Slightly sleepy and relaxed from a dandyfine shower so ignore how majorly disjointed these thiughts may be.

No idea why I was so nervous about this house sitting thing, the dogs are super obediant and affectionate. Plus, the house is sooo nice!

Access to cable/netflix/hulu plus is fucking righteous and I miss these things but I'm happier with myself when I'm not distracted by them and actually make things.

I keep seeing Nook and Kindle ads and wondering if I should request one for Jesus Day. But I don't honestly know if that would get me to read more or if I would even use it. I torrent (and read) a good amount of pdfs to the iPhone and I suppose I keep that up because it's free. But I don't know if I'd bother to buy new books. Buuuut, I bet I could find way more titles I've been hunting for in their store thingy. So, I dunno.

I've literally known about plans for the Occupy Wallstreet protests for about a year before it started because I'm on the Adbusters and CultureJammers mailing lists. So kids that are only 'passionate' about anti-consumerist ideas since the protest gained coverage kinda make me facepalm. But then I kick myself in the buttmeat for being a dumb hipster about it and just try to be glad that people are getting their voices heard.

Which reminds me, I remember going to a protest (I was like 9 or 10 at the time) against the proposed construction of a WalMart on the plaza where Sonic and the Turbo Kroger are because it was (is?) a Native American burial ground. I just think thats pretty funny/sad.

Hi ho.

Also, apple slices with a slight char on them are dang tasty.

Two First Names and an Ampersand

2011-11-16T02:01:00.000-05:00

Very pleasant day. Slept at almost normal times, got up, hung out with my Dad. We went to Goodwill where I got a Cryptorchid Chipmunk shirt and a DiVinyls cassette. I wanted to browse a LOT more but my padre was really wanting to eat so I cut my rad things hunting short and we went to the Chinese place right next door.
Overall, that is a pretty mediocre to shitty restaurant but they have some of the better cheese wontons in town and a really good tofu dish. But they're cheap, so it's forgivable.

While there, my Dad (as he is exceptionally prone to doing) struck up a conversation with a lady at the table next to us. She was in a wheelchair, although we didn't ask why and I wish we had because she seemed relatively mobile, and she had a small Chinese symbol on her wrist. In hindsight, that's pretty funny. She said it meant either strength or courage. She also had a tatto of two dolphins in a heart with the words 'Best Friends' under it. She told us that they weren't best friends anymore. In my head, I was laughing hysterically at how Harmony Korine-ish the situation felt.

Then we came home and my madre got home not too long after that. Then Dad popped out to play darts while Mom went to a pesticide class. I think I took a nap out of boredom around then.
Mom got back from her class and we decided to play around with clay and drink some wine. I put on my last.fm station and we had a pretty tolerable time. Then I went to check my e-mail and noticed a new FetLife update so, of course, I responded to it.

She is so very awful and accusatory and annoying and a bunch of other A-words when she gets all inquisitive about what I'm doing online now. I was just typing something in the Mo-town group and she says "Oh, whatcha typing there?" Which, in and of itself is a very harmless question but she said it in a blatent 'I'm trying to seem nonchalant' way. I hate that. Or I guess I hate the way she does it. It's a very ham-fisted and clumsy attempt at being sneaky. If she was just upfront and said 'You on that there BDSM site?' or similar then I could respect an honest inquiry. But goddamn. She knows I'm on a BDSM-based social networking site and that that's where I met Kevin AND I (unfortunately) know she has had or still does have proclivities towards the kink because a close family friend, one of her best friends, is on there and we're friends. (Thanks a fucking lot, werebeastie. Like I needed those facts in my brain.)

I'm fine with discussing aspects of the Morgantown 'scene' and sex in general with her but I really do not want to discuss my very personal life with her. And I would really rather not bump into her on the site.

But other than that, it was a nice day. The white Zinfandel left an aftertaste akin to the aftertaste I get from Woodchuck's Granny Smith cider. Not unpleasant, but surprising almost every time and vaguely reminiscent of sweet peas.
Kevin comes back into town tomorrow and we get to spend time with my turbo-bestie Donna. How I love her but I'm really worried she's spreading herself too thin. 3 jobs, art school, love life, etc.
Hopefully some time being a wacky public nuisance with us will relax her a bit.

Mmmmyep.
Don't touch that dial.

Here Comes the Sun

2011-11-14T12:03:00.000-05:00

I do not have reliable enough internet to yap regularly on here but I've been narrating a lot of my actions in my head recently so I figure I should make a return to writing.
I'll be exceptionally surprised if this little scrap of blog gets attention from anyone save perhaps my gleefully odd tribes of internet friends. But that would be nice and gratifying to the ego and whatnot so, eh, we shall see I suppose.

Today is November 14th, 2011. I'm in Morgantown, Kevin is in Clarksburg. It is unseasonably warm to the point of frustration and I've been wearing the same clothes for about a week because I am inept at packing. Essentially when I pack my criteria for vital items is somehow skewed and I imagine that I will spend the entire trip to where ever just absolutely bored out of my mind but for some reason will not need to wear much clothing. Silly brain, we've -never- been bored and naked at the same time... Well, except for that one time at the Best Western.

For this reason, I also don't much trust my brain. Or my body. Or a lot of things. I'm trying hard to think of how to describe what I even mean by that in a non-metaphor clouded way but alas, I don't think it's working.

Now I'm going to write something fictional-y because it's very very hot in here and I keep losing my thoughts.

Pining Needles - by Kree

To hang a frame on porcelain pixels
And claim it as magic and good,
Is kind, yes, charitable in a way.
And such a thing to shoulder.
To know the truth of yourself
And how based your intentions may (seem to) be
Is liberating and crippling.
Like a fan in front of the slime maw of a giggling and toothless geisha.
Something near truth
But just far off enough to make you squirm.

Tune in next week,
Same bat time, Same bat channel.